That said, something does irk me: the stereotype of the easy traveler.

Now, I certainly don’t want to tell any traveling free spirits out there to change their habits. Go forth. Have fun. Try to hit the 7/7.

However, in my day to day life as a foreigner living semi-permanently abroad, the idea that foreign girls are easy gets a bit annoying.

Exhibit one:

Israeli backpacker: “Come to my dorm room… it’s your last night in Panama, don’t you want to make the most of it?”

Right, because making the most of a trip to Panama requires banging a sleazy Israeli guy on a creaky bunkbed surrounded by 7 other strangers. Don’t think so.

Exhibit two:

Mexican waiter: “Come over to my apartment… you’re only in San Cristobal a few days so you should be bad.”

Sigh. Don’t think so either.

Here’s the thing: I’m not on vacation. I’m not off having a wild time abroad before going back to Canada and settling down with a husband, minivan, white-picket fence and 1.8 children.

This is my life, at least for the foreseeable future. I may be somewhat transient, but I basically live in Latin America right now.

Besides, I’ve never really gotten the idea that people should be good at home, but wild abroad. (Yeah, nothing gets me randier than the prospect of getting knocked up anonymously by someone who would then take years to track down.)

Anyways, the reason the stereotype of the easy female foreigner gets annoying is just that: I live here. If I meet someone I like, I’d like to, you know, date them. But often the idea that foreign girls are easy means that people expect a fling, and not someone to get to know. This makes it sometimes difficult to date people (both locals and foreigners) in towns that are so foreigner-heavy.

Maybe this means that I’m just getting old, and jealous of all the free-spirits romping around here right out of college. Whatever, they should have fun before heading back home… I’ll still be here next month.

“Wow, that looks great on you!” she said.

“Yeah, but I’m only interested in any clothes I that I would wear in Central America. This is too revealing… you can see half my boobs.”

“Yeah, but it looks hot! Take it anyways!”

I know that I won’t take the dress.

Sometimes I feel like I am the only woman who makes a conscious effort to dress at least somewhat modestly when traveling in more conservative countries. Sure, I probably don’t dress quite as modestly as I could, but I try to at least find the halfway point between covered from head to toe and North American summertime clothes.

I have heard the following statement at least a half dozen times while traveling in Central America:

Girl wearing spaghetti-strap tank top and short-shorts: “It’s so disrespectful how men are always making obscene comments and staring at me here!”

While I’ve certainly heard a few catcalls, in my personal experience most men in Central America have been respectful to me. I’m not gross looking, so I’m going to guess that this has something to do with the way I dress.

I don’t think the fact that someone is “on vacation” or “backpacking” is an excuse to completely ignore social standards on dress. Even when it’s hot out, it’s not appropriate in many countries to have one’s boobs hanging out.

At the risk of generalizing, when I travel in Latin America I use the following rules:

Either pants, capris or skirts.
Skirts shouldn’t be too short. The shortest I would wear is a skirt that hits right above the knee.
No teeny tank tops – I usually have the shoulders covered.
No major cleavage, but showing some is ok.

In West Africa it’s different. Legs are considered much more sexual, so skirts should be longer. But showing skin on top isn’t as big a deal so I might wear a tank top.

Either way, a little thought goes a long way.

Here’s me on a hot day in Panama City, wearing a typical outfit:

Am I taking too much of a “blame the victim” mentality? Is it wrong to blame female travelers for the comments they receive? Should they have the right to dress as they want? Should I instead blame the men making the comments?

Obviously, I don’t think it’s “ok” to verbally assault someone… but I think that female travelers should be more respectful of local norms as well.