Yel Kaye – Travel Blog, Writing and Photography

“The sad part of living overseas is that people come and go all the time,” I said.

“There’s a solution to that,” my friend replied. “Only make friends with locals, not foreigners.”

That’s easier said than done.

Any person living abroad presumably wants to form and strengthen meaningful friendships with local people in their adopted country. (At least I hope: otherwise, what’s the point?)

But it’s often easy for some people to get sucked into the “expat crowd” and soon find themselves with only fellow foreigners for friends.

At the same time, should a person snobbishly shun their fellow outsiders entirely, so they can only connect with the “authentic” local culture? Imagine the potential deep friendships that might be missed doing so.

I am constantly trying to find a happy medium between these two extremes.

This relates to one of the reasons that I am leaving Quetzaltenango.

Ignore anyone that says Quetzaltenango (Xela) isn’t overrun with foreigners: it is. Mind you, it is overrun with mostly great foreigners who are passionate about Guatemala, interested in the language and culture and genuinely want to become a part of the community. But that doesn’t change one basic fact: Xela is an expat town.

In addition, Xela’s expat component is extremely transient. There are a few foreigners who stay for a couple years or more, but most stay for a few months to a year. As a result, people are coming and going all the time.

This adds to the dilemma. It’s emotionally draining to see friends come and go all the time. I’ve become close with a number of people in the last seven months here, but almost all have already gone.

So, is the only solution to make only friends with Guatemalans? Well, I don’t believe in passing up a potentially awesome friendship just because someone is also foreign.

As well, in a town like this with a constantly rotating cast of gringos, it is sometimes difficult to make friends with locals. Don’t get me wrong: I have many Guatemalan friends that I will miss and hope to often visit here in the future. It’s just that – and some people disagree with me – I sometimes get the impression that many Quetzaltecos are a bit jaded with foreigners. After all, why invest in a friendship if you will be here today, gone tomorrow?
This dilemma, I know, will follow me wherever I go and will not be cured by leaving Xela. I know that in the future I will need to continue trying to balance expat and local friendships.

But I think that a transient, expat crowd makes striking this balance more difficult, and that is one of the reasons I am moving on. I would like to live somewhere where there is a higher proportion of locals to foreigners, just so that it will be easier to establish stable bonds. And I’d like to think that in many other places, the expats that are there are staying for a lot longer. Like I hope to do.

Regardless, I will miss this city when I leave in approximately 24 hours. Quetzaltenango has brought wonderful people into my life, and holds so many memories. It has frustrated and inspired me. It has taught me a lot.

The saddest thing about leaving: I have been in Xela long enough for it to feel like home, but not long enough for it to actually be home. But it probably isn’t meant to be my home, but a stop along the way.

Me dancing bachata with my salsa buddy William.

Phil (American), Andrea (Guatemalan) and I hanging out on the night that everyone piled into my bed.

One Dutch, one American, two Canadians, two Guatemalans and one Italian over at my place for a meal.